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Settling Out of Court

Promoting Communication Between Parents and Children
Legal procedures can be long and expensive. You may have greater success negotiating with the abducting parent. In some cases, friends or relatives of the abductor may be able to help you reach a compromise with the abductor. A decrease in tension might bring about the return of your child, but, even if it does not, it can increase your chances of being able to visit the child and participate in some way in the child''s upbringing. In some cases compromise and some kind of reconciliation are the only realistic option.

Obtaining Information on Your Child''s Welfare
If you know your child''s location and your child is a U.S. citizen you can request that a United States consular officer attempt to visit your child. If the consul obtains the other parent''s permission to visit the child, he or she will do so and report back to you about your child. Sometimes consular officers are also able to send you letters or photos from your child. Contact the Office of Children''s Issues (CA/OCS/CI) at 1-888-407-4747 to request such a visit.

Working With Foreign Authorities
In child abduction cases, consular officers routinely maintain contact with local child welfare and law enforcement officers. If there is evidence of abuse or neglect of the child, the United States embassy or consulate may request that local authorities become involved.

The Question of Desperate Measures/Reabduction
Consular officers cannot take possession of a child abducted by a parent or aid parents attempting to act in violation of the laws of a foreign country. Consular officers must act in accordance with the laws of the country to which they are accredited. The Department of State strongly discourages taking desperate and possibly illegal measures to return your child to the U.S. Attempts to use self-help measures to bring an abducted child to the United States from a foreign country may endanger your child and others, prejudice any future judicial efforts you might wish to make in that country to stabilize the situation, and could result in your arrest and imprisonment in that country. In imposing a sentence, the foreign court will not necessarily give weight to the fact that the would-be abductor was the custodial parent in the U.S. or otherwise had a valid claim under a U.S. court order (e.g., failure of the foreign parent to honor the terms of a joint custody order). Should you be arrested, the United States Embassy will not be able to secure your release.
If you do succeed in leaving the foreign country with your child, you and anyone who assisted you may be the target of arrest warrants and extradition requests in the U. S. or any other country where you are found. Even if you are not ultimately extradited and prosecuted, an arrest followed by extradition proceedings can be very disruptive and disturbing for both you and your child.
Finally, there is no guarantee that the chain of abductions would end with the one committed by you. A parent who has reabducted a child may have to go to extraordinary lengths to conceal his or her whereabouts, living in permanent fear that the child may be reabducted again. Please consider how this might affect the child.
If you are contemplating such desperate measures, you should read the information available from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) (http://www.ncmec.org/) about the emotional trauma inflicted on a child who is a victim of abduction and reabduction. NCMEC advises against reabduction not only because it is illegal, but also because of possible psychological harm to the child.

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